Do I hate anyone? No I do not think so. My heart is too precious for any ill feelings and heart ache.
For that I owe to my father. He is a man of good intent and at peace with himself. When he was 70 he was hit by a passing car. For days he was bedridden. I thought he would not survive. When people asked about his well being his answer was so loaded with being him and sum up his philosophical being.
My body ached but my heart does not ache. That was his response.
I know there are people out there who hate the gut out of me. It is great to be popular, but I do not need to be popular to survive and thrive. Relationships are precious. I will do many things to build bridges but we learn that bridges are not necessarily good. With them you are bubbles in isolation or at most part of a foam system.
Of course with the people you love, you will do anything to maintain and develop that loving and caring relationship. You tolerate, compromise, attract, please, sacrifice, indulge and do stupid things just to maintain and develop that relationship.
With my parents, it is all about love.
Someone I just met gave an apt term for relationship management. He called it boundary management.
My relationship with my children is rather unique totally in contrast to my relationship with my parents.
I see them as responsibilities not a love or favor bank. I will do my level best to give them good education and a reasonable upbringing. Up to the age of 21, thereabout. After that it is a relationship among equals. Hopefully by then, I will not owe them anything, neither will they owe me anything.
So if your child tells you that he hates you, it is his problem not yours, if he is over 21. He just has to find peace with himself. When he is 21, as with all relationship, he has to be responsible and accountable, for his thoughts, actions and be prepared for consequences.
You may call it arrogance and selfishness, I call it confidence and prudence.