Election Time Malaysia – Malaysian Press or Malayutopia Press?

It is election time again. Reading the papers is such joy. Everything is so good and reasonable and fair and just.

This is Hadhari country you see. It was also known as the GOLDEN CHERSONESE, land of  gold and honey. What ever was not just or cases of tempered justice is being made good.  The open royal commission of enquiry, on the correct, correct, correct which is incorrect  is one example of transparency and the art of governance. Very professionally executed, I mean the planning and timing, not the commission for which I have no comment for fear of contempt.

The farmers are happy, the fishermen are happy, the civil servants are being wooed, the GLCs staff are being feted. Wow, what a wonderful world. Even the banks are pulling up the brakes against defaulters and NPLs. So what your hire purchase is on Fourth schedule. The ‘ tarik kereta’ boys are busy with hindraff or are being tasked to do somethinng else.

Mr Armstrong, this is I FEEL GOOD time! . I feel good….deng, dereng dendeng……………………..

This is the time for freebies, for the distribution of goodies, for extra holidays, for land titles, for more chinese schools. The economist and statisticians are working overtime. This is the time to make the last election  year look so bad.

What a wonderful world this is. Paradise, and all the bad representatives are going to get the axe. The Bad, the Rude, the Crude, are not going to be nominated.

Am I in utopia? I believe I am not. This is real. The previous MP ZAID of Kota Baru is not going to be nominated so he must be either bad, Rude or Crude or plain daft. His sppeches in parliament just do not touch on the rakayat. The rakyat , the little people just want free kambings, baja and sejadah and PA systems and the occassional takraw jerseys. Now with futsals there are only five jerseys to buy not 11 + 3 for a full team. Who cares about civil society. We are  hadhari a la abdullah!!!

Heard of the 80;20 principle. The little people carry 80 or maybe 90 % of the vote.

On the road i see red lights which functions but do not stop motorists at junctions. There is an explanation for that. That is the manifestation of  empowerment of the little people on little motorbikes. You would not like to be like singapore do you? where there is no life, but robots. Little people rules OK!! Or are the police  just too busy doing other things keeping the streets and the parks and the malls safe, beside off course doing under cover works for the political masters, who inturn will ensure perpetual prosperity and happiness. Dont we all know that the GESTAPO like IGP of that famous black eye has been put to pasture? Now is people police. Or is the steak available?

While driving, you often see people urinating on walls, by the side of parked cars. There is no need to hide behind bushes or to look for proper toilets. Some people say that is a bad sign reflecting disrespect, lack of shame, indescipline, individualism. No, no, no. This is the new age. Liberalism. Liberal to challenge old ways, convenants, liberal to import cultures from toiletless societies. Isnt this openness ? so they say. Gone is cikgu kencing berdiri, murid kencing berlari. Better still Blame it on teachers.

So why are those HINDRAFF things still going on? You spoilt my Saturday,  the traffic jams that you caused. Don’t they know that this is nirvana, OOOh, they want the money from the Queen you see. It has nothing to do with this Golden Chersonese, for which they have no complaint. I just heard it is that Anwar Ibrahim who is masterminding this HINDRAFF thing, not those guys in Kamunting. So, you people of Kampung Medan do not vote Keadilan, because Hindraff is Anwar and Anwar is Keadilan.

Heard of the million man march? Impossible, because a march of 1000 people is causing so much losses, damages, discomfort to us here. That is just BUSH stories, not Utusan story.

And tomorrow, or early this morning I will eagerly wait for my doses of Malaysia stories from the STAR, Strait Times and the wonderful UTUSAN. They cannot lie, can they, because I pay for the papers.  I would not be paying  for the newspapers if i know I am to be fooled.

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