Do you have time for the kids?

My 7 year old wants to socially engage but he has yet to learn the skill to interact. So what he does could be something seen as negative. To him he just needs to attract attention. Without this skill he would be seen in negative lights and ignored. I saw that with my 21 year old when he was in primary school. The teachers were bad. At one instant, one teacher ignored his attempt to proudly introduce me, which left him deeply embarassed.

The girls somehow have the inborn skill to get the attention of others. They tend to enjoy schools more then the boys.

How much time do you spend time to understand your kids?. That is the question bugging me. not much. The little ones I mean. Do we really know their aspirations , worries, and things that make them happy. Spending time mean trying to understand them rather then imposing our beliefs.

Aiman and nadia are SCOUTS. I think that is a wise choice. I pity those who are in the police cadets or in the army cadets. It is marching, marching and marching. I love the days as a cub and scout. Learning the ropes so to speak. The Scout movement is still very relevant to learn survival skills,

We talked about parenting today witha a colleague. Learn, unlearn and relearn. It is important to undo the techniques which have been subconsciously etched in your brain. If you do not learn new things you will be repeating what your parents did to you. That is how culture is created and perpetuated.

Emotional abuses? You see that almost everyday. Teasing or “sakat’, a prevalent culture, to me is emotional abuses. Do kids have the ability to differentiate between joking and teasing. Give them that benefit of doubt that they do not.

I plan to write more on this subject in future, in malay preferably.


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