Enemy in the blanket – a legal immigrant in Watford

He thought I was Japanese. He got excited to hear my farewell salam to the caretaker and hencefort started adressing me as brother.

He is a Maroc. A proud berber, a devout Muslim. He is trying to find an honest living in his new country but the manner  he gets his citizenship is a Home Offce thriller. It is the very thing that the Home Office and Border control and the National Front would love to expose.

But he is a typical arab, anything Israel is bad. Jews are the cause of his misery, an Arabic DNA, alright.

Did you go through the tunnel? No I did not. I bought a Spanish Passport from the Spanish enclave for 1000 pounds. With the passport i travelled through spain, france and then crossed the channel by ferry.

How did you get your British passport? Easy brother. I paid a girl 6000 pounds to go to the registry. Then presto I have the citizenship. We agreed that after some time we get separated.

Can you get me a girl? No problem brother. We are brothers, Mashallah…

What do you think of this country? No good brother, everything is riba and Jewish. They kill all the muslims and now their money is gone. Gordon cannot do anything.

Where do you live? In watford, brother. They give me a council flat.

As we approached Heathrow I insisted that he put on the CD. Jema al Fina and music of the desert, the kind that inspired led zep’s kashmir.

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