Parenting – Apologizing can be cool

The teenage Princess and the mother had a  fight. It started because of a very tiny weeny issue. More of a non-issue.

The golden rules were broken. Things which should not have been said were uttered. Within seconds the splinter developed into a full flared inferno.  There were shouts and counter shouts.

The fire raged until The Princess walked out. I ended up being drawn into the embroil, like a fire chief after a big inferno.

My rules were forgotten. Never get physical particularly between grown ups. Never get angry easily.

As a parent there are tendencies to pull ranks or status. Do not challenge me and I can say what I like. The Malay Batu Belah syndrome reared its ugly head.

As a parent always remember there is still a lot of childishness in your teenager. A teenager is an adult in transition. A teenager has a dual personalities, an adult  as well as a child. So the antidote is pretty simple, I prescribed,  If you have treated her as a child  you have to treat her as an adult now.

Usually the adult has to take the initiative. If you expect the kid to walk over to you and hug you and say sorry, forget it.  Call her over, talk it over Encourage  each other to say  “I am sorry” ” I love you”

They  did. I am so proud of that.The vicious cycle in the inherited culture has been stopped. The saka has been thrown out.

Mother and Princess were happy. Hopefully happily everafter. Insyallah. There will be future conflicts but they now know to handle at least one.

And the Princess learned one very useful parenting skill, it is cool to apologize and it is alright for parents to do the same.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: