Opinions on Sex
From a husband
* I love you in b-lue. I love you in r-ed. But most of all, I love you in bed.
From a wife
* The difference between a lover and a husband is the difference between the day and the night.
From a lover
* Getting married is like getting into a bath tub. After you get used to it, it ain’t so hot.
From a marriage counsellor
* Sex is the price women have to pay for marriage. Marriage is the price men have to pay for sex.
From a young sex educator
* If you think sex is a pain in the ass, you’re doing it wrong.
From an old sex educator
* Impotence: Nature’s way of saying “No hard feelings”.
From a teenager
* I’m not attracted by a girl’s mind…. But by what she doesn’t mind.
From a politician
* A mistress lies between a mis-ter and a mat-tress.
From a journalist
* Opinion is like an ass hole, everyone has one.
From a policeman
* There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men – don’t and stop, unless they are used together.
From a soldier
* Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy!
From a hunter
* Squirrel who runs up woman’s leg, will not find nuts.
From a fashion designer
* A tight dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restricting the view.
From a pimp
* Prostitution is a hole sale business.
From a gangster
* Guns don’t kill people… Husbands who come home early do.
From a grandmaster
* Chess players mate better.
From Harry Potter
* What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.