It is very easy to get highly strung, in the process of preparation for a wedding. Everyone, yes everyone. Personally I have learned to manage the planning, relatively stress free. I rea;ized though that this is not just MY event. It is a family affair. Central to all these is the bride and groom. Then there are the many other stakeholders, emak, the spouses, the children, the siblings, the neighbors in the kampong.
I established one ground rule, that I am in charge. We may have debates and differences but kindly and respectfully submit to the decision of the CEASAR. Not that I want to be a dictator or despot, I just want to have some semblance of order and organization rather then the organized chaos we often see in weddings.
Who are we to please here? We are doing this to fulfill a duty to God to get His blessing and endorsement in the relationship between the bride and groom. Then off course we want to make it a joyful occasion, an opportunity to strenghten family bonds, to manifest our love for each other. It is pointless to have an event that will cause misery and bad feelings, the very thing syaitans love to see.We want to be better. We want to be happier. We want to be closer to each other. We want to love each other more.
It is important to do things in moderation. It is the conflicting definition of moderation that primarily cause conflict. Sometimes it is the very attempt to manifest love is itself misunderstood and cause for contempt.
My advice will always be for everyone to do things to seek the pleasure of God. All the good things come from Him and Him alone and the bad things are our doings. We need to always remind that all the good things can be taken away at His pleasure.
Often forgotten is the challenges that the bride and groom need to go through. My advice is for them to focus on the LOVE between them. All these things with weddings and ceremonies are just demands by society. Adam and Eve, laila nad majnun , Romeo and Juliet could not care less about ceremonies. They just wanted to be together.